In Other Nooze...

Commerece Secretary-Appointee Carlos Gutierrez started working at Kellogg's driving a truck, and ultimately became CEO. It has not been mentioned whether or not he drove his truck over the previous CEO.

Tom Ridge quits as head of "Homeland Security", while Kweisi Mfume quits as head of "Homeboy Security". Reasons given did not include wanting to spend time with each other's family. No word yet on who'll be spending time with Tom Brokaw's family.

Bush's new cabinet may look to some like an episode of 'Sanford and Son'. In completely unrelated news, Mr. Bush ran off to Canada yesterday.

Dan Rather could be replaced by Former Unstoppable Force Ken Jennings, who, after losing on 'Jeopardy', has probably decided to take a nap. A distant relation to Peter Jennings, CBS could bank on name confusion to garner more viewers, but it's arguable that the new recruit posseses too much factual information to ever be taken seriously as a journalist.